#96 – RETURNING FROM A LONG HOLIDAY
Returning from a Long Holiday Whether you took a leave of absence from your hospital, or, you went on a two week break after the end of first semester, or, you stopped writing a countdown for your friend’s blog unannounced, it’s more than a sure thing that coming back from a break is not exactly a walk in the park. You feel bad that you have to go back to work, you try and fail to mentally prepare yourself for the second semester, you slowly but surely carry your arrogant, heart-broken ass off your bed and begin to finally type the continuation piece to your countdown, and while you’re doing this you can’t help but feel this quiet sense of wonder that is actually just fear.
You fear that your sweet-sweet freedom is coming to an end, you fear that school is here once again and you’re still not going to be good enough and you can’t help but wonder if life has gone on in your absence, and everyone has just learned to live without you. You’re scared that you wouldn’t be able to sleep for more than half of any day any longer, you’re scared that this semester is going to be a tough one and you don’t know if you’ve got what it takes to make it through. You’re scared that since you haven’t posted on the blog a long time, everyone has simply lost interest in whatever you think you have to say. But when you think about it really carefully, you realize that: IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER.
It doesn’t matter if you never get to sleep an entire night again because you’re back at the hospital doing rounds and having fun not just working but actually living your dream. You don’t care if your grades aren’t the best in your class because grades, though they are important, they aren’t the most important thing, and all that matters is that you did all you could do, you have the knowledge and whatever grade your teacher gives you, is just one person’s opinion. You switch on your computer, open Microsoft Word and you type the long awaited continuation to your countdown for your friend’s blog because, really, who cares if no one reads it? Who cares if people think you’re yesterdays’ news? You’ve given it a lot of thought and you’ve realized that, at best, this article is read by one or two stray readers who turn their faces, at worse, this article is read by just you and your friend, and is a memory for you two to share for the rest of your lives. The prodigal son returns is the worst it could be and the prodigal son wasn’t so bad; his father still loved him at the end, even though he had squandered his inheritance and smelt like a pig.
A quote from Two and a Half Men “Life gets painful sometimes, but the good part is, time heals all wounds and all the pain you felt earlier is simply forgotten. Of course, that only means we go back and refresh our memory.” Coming back isn’t easy; it’s tough, it’s tasking and it demands a lot from us. We should look at returning, not just to Medical School, but also to other stuff we’ve left behind, not as starting again, but as starting afresh. We should see returning back to our desk as an opportunity to start anew, a chance to do better than our previous exploits and a way to learn from our past mistakes. Because it is only when we destroy our fear of returning to where we left, that we can truly begin to appreciate that, not just what we do, but we, ourselves, are AWESOME.