The privilege of being born and having to grow-up in the western part of Africa gave every Nigerian girl, including I a common fear “TEENAGE PREGNANCY”, like any other social immorality it’s tagged an “epidemic”. As such it turns to a MORAL PANIC, because it has been used to determine the level of moral stability of that child, it has and in most cases being used as a yard stick to determine if that child has been brought up the proper way.
So even in this modern day and age, many Nigerian parents are often embarrassed to talk to their kids, male and female as the case maybe, note that it’s important to talk to the female child about puberty, relationships and sex as it is the male child, It’s wrong to think the female child is the only one that needs to be educated about the results of an unsafe few minutes of sexual excitement, I also often wonder why the men back out from this particular responsibility, in my opinion is as much the responsibility of the mother as it is the father. Some parents procrastinate this particular talk like forever until the did is done, where the female child especially is corrected with brain-knocking slaps, and threats of disownment only because the fear of discussing the three letter word is worse than the fear of death itself to most parents.
A few of my friends (much older) were discussing some very hilarious and outrageously ridiculous things their parents which are now regarded as “ancient of days” told them while growing up :
Y’all can’t believe that in the days of old, when a girls menstrual cycle is seen before she enters her husband’s house, it’s believed she had started letting the opposite sex touch her and is regarded a shame and a tint on the family’s name, this just topped the charts of all the wonderfully ignorant things I heard that day!!
The reason behind this myth, please if anyone has the answers do not hesitate to drop a comment.
Then, the very popular one, of completely staying away from the male gender, because talking, shaking not to talk of hugging a dude would miraculously send a sperm looking for her ova.
Lastly the one I found utterly annoying, and a topic I have waited to talk about, was the case were the female child is deprived of part or the totality of her clitoris sometimes the labia inclusive, and as far as I’m aware this process is done under unfriendly-harsh conditions by an insensitive mid-wife. In this process the female child incurs a truck load of pain, not to talk of side effects, where she may bleed to death or get some infection because this procedure wasn’t done under sanitary conditions.
Now I ask myself, why would a child be rubbed off, of her right to enjoying a future sex life with the right one? Only for the fear of present promiscuity, what about the many years of boring un-exciting sex life? Only because the parent couldn’t discuss these things with the child.
Basically the child undergoing puberty in this generation and the ones to come, practically know the mechanisms, the do’s and don’ts to the working of a male and the female genitals. This goes to the soon to be or new parent, don’t tell your child to abstain without concrete reasons, these children need credible reasons to stay away from what you consider a “wild fire” as some of them may be forced by an over-trusted partner or peer pressure, yea, that still exists! If y’all don’t know already when a child is told not to do something without reasonable reasons or without any reasons the child becomes a little more curious about that thing, which only pushes them to more harm, just tell your child the truth; ABSTINENCE IS KEY with reasons, if the child can’t remain celibate, USE PROTECTION!!
So I have one question for majorly the female gender ……. What were you told as you clocked puberty? And what were you told not to do?