Stray thoughts

            Whenever I step into the toilet, the sudden burst of inconvenient privacy engulfs me and explodes like a full bottle of Malta Guinness which had been opened after some intense shaking routine. The privacy rants my brain and covers my mind in so much exclusivity that I break into dancing like an excited Yoruba man who just won the lottery.

            The importance of privacy cannot be overemphasised in my life; for me I am most comfortable in the loneliness of thought, and I consider my mind the most valuable of my possessions. That’s why whenever I am playing Need For Speed: Most Wanted on my PS Vita and I’m about to break my way into first place in the last lap of a 3-lap circuit race only for my mother to call me up for dinner, I jump up to my feet, smash the game on the floor and turn into an enormous green monster who is indestructible and extremely powerful. After which the camera crew comes in to begin shooting a scene for Avengers 2.

            “I have lived a full life with no regrets” said the very elderly man in a rocking chair. All I did was give a disapproving shake of the head because indeed, this was the same man that was too old to do the Harlem shake.

            I am a strong believer in rest. Although I am often trifled with the more than occasional sting of insomnia, I tend to sleep over 9hrs some days of the week         . That of course did not include last Monday morning when my alarm rang at 6:45am, knowing fully well that I had only begun enjoying my beauty sleep by 6:00am. I then rose up, looked around, pushed the snooze button and gave my laziness a second chance.

            The Idea of a terrorist sect in my very own country, Nigeria makes me feel bad for our ever so diminishing economy. Terrorists take up a cause as innocent as Western Education and turn it into bloodshed and in doing so, they waste millions of the money the country complains of not having, to purchase guns, bombs and all sorts of ammunition and use them in killing people just to prove their point. What they don’t understand is that, with a little more investment, Western Education may well be extinct; if you pay some people enough money, they will be willing to leave school after all.

            In a wedding ceremony, I don’t care if you are the best-man, maid of honour, groom’s father, bride’s mother, grand-father’s nephew, the groom himself, the bride herself, or even the officiating minister. There has got to be a small, very subtle part of you that has taken up the hobby of looking past all the joy and magnificence of the joining in holy matrimony of the handsome groom and beautiful bride and is waiting anxiously and earnestly for the REFRESHMENTS.

            “There are a lot of things which would appear to be best left unsaid, but you can bet on your great-great-great-grand-uncle’s grave that I’ll say them anyways.”- Victor Enahoro Ohwo

  Just incase y’all have been wondering who or what victor is, I leave y’all with a picture



5 thoughts on “LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN #3

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