Hey everyone, so there was a heated discussion in class on this subject some days back, and I decided to air my views on the topic… It’s a spontaneous piece so please turn a blind eye to the grammatical errors. Thanks 🙂
This is a very perky subject I must say,
I’ve spoken to a lot of guys scared of being confined to the “friend zone” by a girl they really like …. all gave a variety of solid reasons they think they’ve been “friend zoned”.
Before we begin here’s what I think the “friend zone” phrase means….
It’s a “you and I can be nothing but friends”, if the girl wants to even make it worse , she says, “you are like a brother to me”.
Pertaining to this topic, I’m of the opinion that most times the guy zones himself, before she zones him.
Now I have a few thorns to pick with our brothers that claim they are being “zoned” …
The major question is how do you relate with the girl….
1. BE DIRECT. I love the new generational men, as often times they nip the bud right on the head, which personally I feel is the best way to face this “truck” probably because i love bluntness, being aware we ain’t all of same strokes, other ladies might find it a little too straight forward, but on the contrary, it unconsciously reorganizes her mind or rather her thinking when it comes to you.
Don’t be stereotyped, because you don’t want to make her uncomfortable or ruin a friendship by expressing your interests or making a move.
Thinking deeper about it, who said the friend zone is such a bad thing? as you all(the male gender) probably know, feminine beings can be real fickle especially in emotional matters as a casual friend might soon be so called “boy friend” with romantic attachments, so sometimes perseverance(which may or may not turn out irritating) would do the magic..
You are probably wondering how do I know if I’m not causing an invasion of goosebumps when I holla at this chic
For example, heres a conversation I had with someone *winks*
“ZzzzzuB, Hey Hun, how’s you doing”
“Sweetheart, I’m great, urself?”
“great, cos I’ve had you on my mind the whole day, miss you”
“Miss you too”
At this point she’s indirectly telling you, she’s partially into you…. I said partially cos she might just be flirting with you.
Another thing, don’t be deceived with the sweet names, it’s the new cliche, you’d find them calling friends even the female ones baby, Hun, sweetheart, y’all know all the names.
2.BE SURE OF THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE ABOUT TO CREATE. Are you looking at a great friendship with physical attraction, in this case, it means you are planning on creating a “friends with benefits” kind of relationship all you need to do is wait for the physical attraction to kick in. But if you are you looking at building a relationship that would exceed the bedroom and affect her life positively, you could;
Offer to spend extra time with her, it doesn’t have to be to an expensive restaurant it can simply be a walk in the park, talking….
Note; before you embark on this route, make sure you are aware of topics both of you can discuss, so it doesn’t end up being a one sided conversation.
3. DON’T GIVE THE IMPRESSION YOU HAVE OTHER OPTIONS. Don’t encourage questions like, how are your girlfriends? Or the babes nko?… When such questions come up, reassuringly tell her “it’s you I want to be with, no one else”. Don’t give the impression you have other options. This would constantly reassure her, of her place in your life, probably she just needs to be reminded or she isn’t quiet sure.
4. DON’T BE A CONFORMIST. Break the “yes” to everything synergy. Be sincere on certain issues, probably on a colour that doesn’t match her skin, or make up gone wrong, and you could simply suggest in love so she could for example tone the make up down a little. Don’t be without opinions because you don’t want to hurt her feelings, she’d see through them at a point.
I’m very sure she’d appreciate the fact she can ask your opinions on certain issues and won’t get a robotic reply, that’s would be a plus plus.
5. DON’T BE INSENSITIVE. Insensitive in the sense that its perceived as a me first kind of relationship, in another word, don’t be selfish, sometimes it’s profitable to put her feelings and needs first. Thread softly.
6. LEARN TO WALK AWAY. Lastly, don’t tie up your feelings by staying friends with someone who isn’t romantically interested in you, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying be enemies with them either, just consciously put some boundaries because it’d be difficult to genuinely love someone else while you still have feelings for another.
So, after all the afore listed points, if she doesn’t give the “green light”, I suggest you move on to “greener pastures”, because believe me there’s a woman out there that would love you just as much as you’d love her.