Broken 2

Hey everyone, hope y’all had a great day. I wanta apologize for its late entry, been a little down with the flu and got my prekrok exams tomorrow, need I add I’m going  to sooo ace it…… :)… anyways enough of my ramblings.. Enjoy the concluding part …

just incase you missed Broken 1….  BROKEN 1



Back home, a second class upper graduate in veterinary medicine, I still couldn’t figure out how I pulled that off, not with the horrifying divorce with Dele, I fell in a bad place in my life, I had bad depression, friends stopped understanding me, I had lost all faith in life. I had so many questions, who would I channel them to? I often took long walks alone and sat in quiet places, hoping that maybe just maybe one day I’d receive some answers.

Sitting alone, starring at the children playing in the park and thinking I could have had children their age by now, my eyes wandering, I spotted him at a corner of the park, I could not take my eyes of, I felt an instant connection. Suddenly he looked back at me, we locked eyes, I felt an electric current pass through me, my knees turned soft as jelly, it felt as if my heart stopped for a second, for a moment the hurt stopped, there was light in the overwhelming darkness.

I wasn’t sure if it was in the smile that sent chills down my spine or in those dreamy eyes. Walking towards me, he was pretty handsome, his physique was my present centre of attraction, I remember seeing him smile and stare at me, I couldn’t stop blushing.

I remember thinking and reminding myself, “all men are the same”, still staring at me we exchanged pleasantries and unveiled our identities, we sat for awhile then he walked me home and through the night, I couldn’t help but think, why hadn’t I met him before Dele?

The following day, mom’s friend calls and says her cousin was new in town and that she was giving him my number so I could show him round the neighbourhood as we were waiting for our call up letters, I consented. An hour later, I get a call, “Hi, how are you? This is Timi, the cousin, can we go out on Friday?” I was stunned but said, “Ok… umm, I guess, I’ll fix up for 8 on Friday”

The cute guy I saw the other day was at the door to pick me up. We had a private dinner and chatted like we had known each other forever. He called me, we texted everyday, we went out out on several other dates, we told each other everything, he was comfortable with my status, he made me forget the grief and the hurt. He made me forget Dele, bottom line we connected on another level, it was quick, it was sudden, it wasn’t before long, we became an item, we spent every second communicating. Months after we started dating, I had never felt like this before, it was an amazing feeling I must say. I figured it had to be “true love”.

We both got our call up letters, I was posted to Abuja and he to Benin. we had been dating for close to two years but we yet connected in such a powerful way that whenever I thought about him he called.

We were both back from camp, we were inseparable and we spent every waking hour together. It was amazing, we could not get enough of each other, he gave me security and comfort I didn’t know I could experience with another man, before long we were planning a wedding, both parents were really excited as our wedding would solidify the family relationship.

02.03.10, the white wedding was elaborate, the talk of Lagos!!! The first year into the marriage was bliss, I was treated like a princess, from breakfast in bed, to long walks on the beach and we’d have lunch together during our short breaks from work, I remember thinking, I finally got what I deserved. Timi was the perfect husband and I loved him to bits, what more could I ask for?

On the 23 of August, the day after my birthday, we were having dinner and a call came through, leaving the table to pick up, seemed like a rather long call so asked if everything was alright, responding in a rather wooden manner, I didn’t put so much thought into it, pausing. Looking back, I have always had uncertainties about Timi, ones that I was almost scared to admit to myself. I know it sounds weird, but it was almost like he seemed too good to be true.

After the episode at the table, I payed attention to every detail, noticed he always seemed overly cautious with his cell phone, keeping it close to him at all times and would get upset if I answered it. I didn’t understand this because I opened all of our mail and I thought I was privy to every aspect of his life as he was mine but he was always on his cell and the majority of the phone calls were on his way to and from work.

Even our intimate times, although very physically satisfying, felt very emotionally unfulfilling for me because it didn’t seem very intimate. The deep passion we shared the first lap into our marriage was no longer there. Instead, Timi’s performance in bed was almost mechanical plus I could take a steamy shower with him, and he wouldn’t get an erection.

On some random night getting ready for bed, it was about 11 p.m. we were in the living room, I could hear criminal minds droning on the television;
“Mary, come here,” he said, softly, “We need to talk.”
I plopped into a chair across from him, for a second, it occurred to me that he might be about to tell me something horrible, but I just instantly dismissed the thought. When you’ve lived with a man for awhile, you reside in a peaceful place of complete confidence that you know him thoroughly.

“I think I’m confused about my sexuality,” He said. Then he burst into wracking sobs. I had that confidence forever stripped from me.
Then he went on to tell me how he has been sleeping with guys, at that instant I felt a sudden crave for air, with the nauseating news, I wondered, “who was this man?” not uttering a word, I just walked to the guest room and slept. Woke up in the morning, realising he had left for work, packed some of my stuff and called my lawyer, I was going to take a long trip, I needed clarity.

“So you were disappointed twice, it doesn’t mean you should give up on life, on love”, my rather awkwardly quiet god finally spoke up.
“But seriously, Timi’s betrayal knocked me into another dimension. He and I had a close relationship, we had all of those things that successful couples are supposed to have, we “communicated”, we talked through our disagreements in a “healthy” fashion. Through every little trial and tribulation, as well as the big ones, Timi had never let me down.

Two weeks later, Timi and I filed for a divorce and it was over, faster than it started. “What in God’s name is wrong with me, why do I end up with the wrong guys?”… From the chief executive of the single’s wagon, I bid y’all farewell .


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