To the friends who loved even when you were’nt very lovable
What Should Real Friendship Feel Like?
Friend: A person whom one knows, likes and trusts (according to the free online English dictionary).
Everyone needs friends, or at least a friend to share the good stuff and to vent when stuff goes awry. Yes, we need someone to share all those absurd jokes we make up. So what happens when you find one of such people and then you begin to doubt how real that friendship is? Well, I’m playing Dr Phil today and
offering advice giving my opinion on what I believe real friendship is.
Good Friends Cheer each other on.
When you are good at something, your friend tells you just how good you are, no embellishments added. A friend supports your endeavors and always speaks well of you, yes always. If he has a bone to pick with you, he does with you and not with others. A true friend isn’t jealous of his friend’s accomplishments. He may want to also do as well as you or even better, but the difference between that and jealousy is that he doesn’t try to sabotage you or bring you down just to look good, in fact, sometimes, he wouldn’t mind making sacrifices for you. A true friend is your biggest fan.
Good Friends Respect each other.
You see, the amazing thing about life is variety and we are all so different from each other and so even ‘’soul mates’’ have personality clashes. You will not agree on everything and that’s just the little stuff like music, books, style and the like. There will even be bigger disagreements like religious beliefs and strong personal opinions. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. So,don’t tell your friend that she has no sense of style just because you don’t like the kind of things that she likes or be rude to your friend because he would rather play another sport than the one you like. I’m just trying to get you to understand what I mean by respect. You may not always agree, but agree to disagree, amicably.
Good Friends are ALWAYS there for each other.
This is the most cliché thing. It’s always said, but many people do not understand what it means. Be there. Your friend is having a rough time in whatever way,you’re there even if you’re not sure of what to say, be there. Hold their hand. Sit by them. Now that’s the deep stuff. There are also practical things to do that show that you’re there. Help them study. Be patient with them. Remind them of that 8am class they always forget about. Lend them money when they forget their purses at home ;). It’s the little things that really matter at the end of the day. Be loyal to your friends. If you hear something nasty about your friend, ALWAYS give them the benefit of the doubt. Friends help each other kick bad habits and become better persons.
All that said, let’s remember that friends can be anyone (check definition)- parent, boy, girl, older person, younger person- , friendship is MUTUAL (that’s why its always “each other”) and not one sided and friends are not perfect. They’ll make mistakes. Let’s try to not always expect perfection. Let us remember to forgive and move on. There is also such a thing as misguided loyalty, sometimes some people are not true friends and we do not have to be loyal to them and allow ourselves be used. That is why true friendship doesn’t happen overnight. It blossoms, trust needs to be built. And most times, if it doesn’t last, it may have never been real after all.
“Keep smiling, Keep shining, that’s what friends are for”. Remember that song? Do your friends make you happy? If they bring you more heartache than pain, they’re probably not the real thing.
by Afoma Eme Umesi